Our April is completely packed with farewells (They're no longer considered meet ups).
At some point in your childhood, you and your friends went outside to play for the last time and nobody knew it. ~ Famous meme
It's a strange realisation at the end of every farewell that this would be the last time I'll be seeing that person for awhile. I can only think of very few ways anyone can experience that 'last' feeling - As you age or migrate (Excluding the breaking up and not seeing your ex stuff or minor stuff like losing your wallet/keys/handphone).
Each farewell we attend will mark the last time we see that person. Friends will be difficult, closer friends harder, family hardest.
The run up till May 8 will be filled with lasts and that will eventually give way to firsts once we're in a new environment. First time to this café, first purchase, first argument, first time getting racially abused, or first time catching Covid.
Everything will be a first for us. And that's one of the big reasons why we (more me) wanted to move. Having been born and raised in Singapore, you just don't get to experience many firsts anymore. Probably why new malls or fast food chains in Singapore are packed with hordes of people when they open because people are craving that first experience. We had our fair share of firsts with the major life updates like planning for the wedding or getting our house but it's kinda tapered off since last year. And no, starting a family is not on the list of our firsts.
I don't think the point is constantly chasing down firsts because every first experience is good for one use only. Firsts generally come with a side of new experiences, opportunities, perspective and growth as a person and I feel that's what I need in this next chapter of my/our lives.
The lasts will be painful but that will give way to the joy of firsts. It's an endless cycle.
Comments